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[一]      

<< *近冬的天,總吹著叫人睜不開眼的風,

 被打亂的髮絲,依覆著臉、交錯了視線…。*>>


是個將近傍晚6點的時間,
路燈依次地亮起,來往不絕的車輛、也閃著刺眼的光芒,
比起街旁像極了影子般的房舍,右邊的景象是過份點的明亮。
我避開了視線,避開左邊的黯淡、右邊的燦爛,
選擇抬起頭、用眼睛調著天空的色盤。
                                                                                
                                                                               
是個將近傍晚6點的時間,
天空掛著一幅用線球交織成的圖畫,
一絲藍、一絲橘的互相牽引著,
 繞著夕陽、繞著遠山、繞著我的眼眸。
                                                                                
                                                                               
是個將近傍晚6點的時間,
房屋的燈被點亮了、不再和窗外產生對比,
天空的顏色被抹平了、不再交錯著一藍一橘,
我抬起凍結許久的步伐,走在被淡紫色包裹的天空下,
撫著未完的思緒,和不小心喚起的思念……。

[二]

*在熱鬧的地方,反而更顯得自己孤獨,
                                                                               
更容易陷入沉思,僅管刺耳的喇叭聲,

是該讓人清醒的。*


冷的天,
我喜歡走進7-11,聞著關東煮的香、茶葉蛋的香,
用緩慢的步伐,繞完店裡一圈。
                                                                                
在出店門口前,
順便瞄一瞄書架上新進的雜誌。
                                                                                
總習慣在自動門開啟前,
抬頭看看感應器,再快速的低下頭,
                                                                               
討厭冷風從門竄入的那一剎那,
                                                                               
冷得讓我,
遺忘了前一秒溫暖的感覺。

天暗得很快,
                                                                               
一點點微弱的光在黑暗中,
 都特別地顯眼。
                                                                                
因此,
我試著抬頭尋找星星,
但,卻是個令人失望的結果…。

天冷了…
我並不想回家,冷的天氣,會讓人想流浪…。
                                                                               
投下兩枚10元硬幣,按了往『彰化』的鍵,
拿著找的零錢和車票,
向月台走去…。
                                                                               
看著向上延展的樓梯,我懼了,
                                                                               
我被迫從逃避被拉回現實,被拉回那個現實的世界。
                                                                               
樓梯的上方,像是無知未來,
 在底頭的我,是怎樣跳也看不到究竟,
                                                                               
必須踩著影子,
踏出一步又一步…。

[三]

*也許我數得出、在第幾步可以爬上樓梯,
     但我卻數不出、在什麼時候可以抓到未來* 
                                                                                
                                                                               
從樓梯向下看的景致是很美的,尤其在晚上。
                                                                               
隔著窗戶,
                                                                               
我仍然感受得到、火車駛過的速度感,
                                                                               
仍然體會得出、火車駛遠後的空虛感,
                                                                               
我試著將臉貼得好近,
                                                                               
呼出的氣、竟讓視線變得不清晰,
                                                                               
就像想探視的夢一樣,
                                                                               
明明離得很近,
                                                                               
卻像隔了好遠好遠的距離...。

[四]

*錯過了一班車、可以等下一班,
      那錯過了一次機會、可以等下一次嗎?* 
                                                                                
                                                                               
我錯過了一班車,一班開往彰化的車,
                                                                               
在它響起警告聲時,我是清醒的,
                                                                               
但,
                                                                               
我並未起身,
                                                                               
只是靜靜的看著乘客上了車、下了車,
                                                                               
看著車門在我眼前響了幾聲後關上…。
                                                                               
車走了,
                                                                               
頭髮隨著思緒、也亂了,
                                                                               
回想著在眼前消逝的那班車,
回想著那些人走上車的背影,
回想著那些人走上車的背影,
回想著車在眼前停下的瞬間。
                                                                               
                                                                               
15分鐘後,我搭上了車,一班同樣是開往彰化的車……..。
                                                                                
                                                                                
[五]                                                                             
*只是用自己覺得自然的步伐走,
    竟發覺,
     和別人比較下,差了好多* 
                                                                                
                                                                               
月台上的人、是匆忙的,
                                                                               
各自帶著不同的心情,前往下一個目的地,
                                                                               
走過我身旁的人跟我一比較,
                                                                               
好像都變成了快轉。
                                                                               
在同一個空間裡,

我好像成了一種怪現象,成了慢動作。

給了票,走出了車站,
                                                                               
和往常相同地,
                                                                               
門口聚集了一大群計程車司機,
                                                                               
他們是顯眼的,
                                                                               
就算視而不見,還是聽得到此起彼落的尋問聲,
                                                                               
那種殷切,是為了生活。
                                                                               
此刻,
                                                                               
我看見了另一種競爭,就在我眼前…….。

在斑馬線前等綠燈,可以看見不同的反應,
                                                                               
有不顧一切穿越馬路的人,
                                                                               
有猶豫不決遲遲不敢向前的人,
                                                                               
有從一開始就等著綠燈亮起的人。
                                                                               
一樣到得了,
                                                                               
只是花的時間不同,
                                                                               
為什麼有人願意多等那1秒,
                                                                               
有人卻連1秒也等不了?
                                                                               
也許,
                                                                               
那也是一種恐懼,錯失的恐懼。
                                                                               
1秒鐘,

只是花的時間不同,
                                                                               
為什麼有人願意多等那1秒,
                                                                               
有人卻連1秒也等不了?
                                                                               
也許,
                                                                               
那也是一種恐懼,錯失的恐懼。
                                                                               
1秒鐘,
                                                                               
可以讓跑者錯過一個得到冠軍的機會,
                                                                               
可以讓家屬錯過看病人最後一眼的機會,
                                                                               
錯過,
                                                                               
是種難以承受的遺憾,
                                                                               
是個無法挽回的缺憾。

我多花了幾秒鐘等待,等一個綠燈.....。
                                                                                
[六]                                                                              
*我開始疑惑,
 如果我追尋的東西、
一開始就不存在,
我該如何說服我自己?* 
                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                            
打著燈的廣場,更顯得樹影斑駁。
                                                                               
走過,
                                                                               
會讓人分不清,
                                                                               
哪個是屬於自己的影子。
                                                                               
我試著找尋它,

卻發覺,
                                                                               
它早已被黑暗吞噬.....。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
夜晚的車站,特別明亮,
                                                                               
就像是汪洋中的燈塔,
                                                                               
指引著思歸的人們,
                                                                               
找到一個回家的方向....。
                                                                               
海上的我,
                                                                               
浮浮沉沉,遠遠望著那座燈塔,
                                                                               
心中帶著份期望....。

一陣浪來,
                                                                               
沒有防備的我、被打的好遠。
                                                                               
我望不見燈塔,
                                                                               
也找不到回家的方向....。

一陣空虛襲來,
讓夜晚的風、一時降溫好幾度。
我拉高了外衣、踏過樹影,
走在暗紅色的磁磚路.....。
     

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